Posted in Life, Random

Randoms

Holla Holla. 

I’m not loyal, I know. I haven’t been loyal to myself this past couple of weeks sef. Some random musings as an apology? 

***

I think the funniest thing I’ve done this past week was forgetting my slip on at my client’s. I don’t have a car. But I still want to do maximum shakara. So I have a permanent pair of heels in a locker at my client’s at any point in time. I go to work in slip on or sandals. Problem however is..the pair of shoes at the office is black-universal color ;you know? I change footwears upon my arrival at the office. 

To make my issue more complicated, there are days when I don’t deem the black heels proper for my outfit that day. Puhleeze, I want to look chic. So, I go with an extra pair of shoes in my bag (red, brown or Grey as the case may be).

There are days when these chic look puts me into trouble. Like today. I closed so early from work to get to the hospital (malaria baby) and I forgot my slip on at the office!  Izzequal to heels until I get home. In a PT ffs! I wanted to request for uber but there was a 4* surge so, I damned the consequence-of my legs paining me and people watching me as I hustle for a keke. I was extra nice to my fellow keke mates sha 😂 😂. One of my friends said it’s an irony to wear a human hair in a PT. Lolll. Girl, bye.

If you see a girl in a Navy blue dress with a brooch at the cleavage area and a pair of tomato red shoes, Holla. It just might be me.

******

I’m beginning to have a mental shift out of this country. Like my body is here but my spirit has long left Nigeria. No, it’s not in Togo. Not Benin Republic. Not even South Africa abeg 👀. 

*****

My mind is in the country where milk and honey flows. I don’t believe milk and honey flows in any African country, truth be told. What do you think, having oyinbo air brush my skin?  Lol. Automatic black American /Canadian /yadayada. Everything is oyinbo. I sha want to gerrarahia.  With current happenings in this country, I’ve lost all hope completely. I want to have hope from the other continents -Asia is canceled, please. 

****

I will be writing my final ACCA exam in the next three weeks but reading for it is currently my biggest challenge. It’s like really hoping for something to happen but getting scared when it comes nearer. Pray for me guys. 

****

I finally moved into my new apartment. Like for real. Squatted with Ebun for weeks but it’s all history now. 

****

Nothing else to say

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Nothing else to say

****

Xoxo

Posted in Life

Death pangs and the feel

Hello people. 

Today is a sad one for me. Really sad actually. I must confess that it is very difficult for me to put this piece together.

Usually, when I am home doing nothing other than sleep during the weekend, I go through social media and catch up with whatever I am missing. 

It was a different one for me today because Facebook had Olumide had just one person’s face all over it. You guessed right -He died.

Olumide and I were classmates at Ife and he was one of the brightest ones. We were close at some point in 100level and it was very obvious he had big plans for his future. We drifted apart after school because life happened to every one of us. While I changed career line to Finance through ACCA while studying for my MSc in UI, Olumide went to South Africa for his pre-Msc before he started his PhD. Communication was not really great but he tried his best to keep in touch through Facebook and Twitter. He visited about two IDP camps last year to share his ready to eat food in order to combat malnutrition. 

So, you can imagine my shock when I read many tributes to him. This was someone I did catch up with two months with, including his plans, girls, etc. I still can’t believe he’s dead. The thing is, when one sees RIP on people’s pictures, one isn’t really moved probably because he’s not someone known to us. This was different because Olumide was my friend for the better part of my undergrad life. He had ‘sense’ in every meaning of the word. Words fail me, to be honest. 

Sometimes, it seems like God doesn’t make sense even though I know He does but I can’t lie that Olumide’s death is not raising so many questions in my heart to God. 

His death has also made me know life is real and death, even more. I am very scared.  More like -is this how people die?  Why would God allow him get to this stage before taking him?

I know all hidden things are known to God, I just wish I could have answers to these questions. 

I love you Olumide. I know you are in a better place now, at peace even.  I pray you rest in peace and God grants your family the fortitude to bear this loss.

Kindly say a word of prayer for Olumide’s family. 

Adieu Midy.

Posted in Life, Reviews

My half year review 😂 

​Holla Holla. 

June has come.. Ended too. Most times, at the end of each year, I look back and it seems like I’ve done nothing all year. I probably get too overwhelmed trying to recall what I’ve done. And I know why. It’s usually because I (people)  don’t seem to know what I’ve done with my life if I’ve not reached some crazy landmarks -finish my exams, traveled many countries,achieved some land breaking feats, resigned from my job to start my business, etcetera. But hey, it’s fine.. Little drops of water make an ocean. So, I’ll be doing a monthly review of my year. Basically, how I coped this year.

P.S This review started in January so, some stuffs might have been reversed before the end of the year. 

P.S.S this is quite lengthy. 

JANUARY 

  • 1st of January- For the first time in my life, I started the year on a bad,bleak and lonely note. I made a big decision prior to the 1st which was actually a big deal to me because I thought this was everything I had prayed for but well, life isn’t always perfect right??  Right???  You take some Ls sometimes. 

And even though I was lodged in one of the costliest hotels in Abuja, it felt so sad,cold and everything in-between. I called my friend-call him B (he used to be the closest friend I had at some point) to give him a breakdown of what was going on with me -until talks between us took another interesting turn and I was like.. Okay, 2017 can do whatever it likes. 

So, since I started the year on a bad note, I didn’t do any resolution radarada. I just wanted to be done with the year already. Lol. 

  • 3rd of January -Kabir traveled to the US for his MSc. I might not be lucky in so many things in this life but I’m darn lucky with my inner circle(friends) . There was a point where Kabir was the only one(read Ebun too)holding down the circle. His departure left me with a mixed feeling sort of – I was very happy he had a chance to chase his dreams. Boy never gives up but I also knew I’d really miss him. Like really really really. That US has stolen too many people from me abeg. He proved me wrong though because even with the annoying time zone/difference, he was still one phone call /whatsapp message/imo away. He was annoying sometimes too.  Many times actually. Plus he knows how to leave me alone when I’m not in a good mood. I’m just happy my friends are successful and living their dreams.

28th- I went for this Irinajo trip to tarkwa bay. That was the beginning of my Waka about this year and boy did I love it! I met four people during the trip -two guys among them who eventually became my good friends.

  • Other days in January 

Overall, it was a month I cried the most. It was just bleak for me kind of. Tears well up my eyes so quickly these days. But I wasn’t ready to let that make me bitter so,we move. I eventually came up with a resolution /to do list for the year. 

FEBRUARY 

For some days in the month,  I woke up like I was going to take over the world which I did. For other days, I woke up feeling tired and annoyed. My mood swings on me like that. For no reason. I used to think something was wrong with me until I spoke to someone about it and told me it was completely normal. On such days, I just pray in tongues(it works guys!)  and download a new album of an unknown artist. Works for me sha. All the time. Plus, I feel I have this trademark of God over me. One that says -‘Girl, you’re mine. I’m never letting you go.’ I felt this way a lot in February and God did come through.

MARCH 

I went on a getaway trip with a friend. Lollllll. Even I shock myself sometimes. He had been asking me for a time out since January so one day, I woke up and said -why not? It was by a beach side. Really beautiful. I didn’t regret it one bit. 

Work became really crazy at some point too. Like back to back engagements. I almost broke into two. Lol. I couldn’t wait for the month to be over plus the next was my birthday month. Whoop whoop! 

APRIL 

Birthday month!  😂 😂 😂 I thought of what to do for my birthday this year and it was so hard making a choice. I had an option to either do a nice spa, photo shoot, travel to Dubai( a friend-who is French by the way,promised to cover most of my expenses) or do a photo shoot. I would have loved to go to Dubai o.. Just for a minute atleast but my head just kept spinning. What if I was kidnapped?  What if…. Have I mentioned how these what I ifs eventually rape me to making some funny decisions? Smh

I eventually settled for a photoshoot. Make up by my home girl -Tobi. She glammed me up that I couldn’t even recognize myself 

Finished product 

I get a bit sober when it’s my birthday month. I really don’t know why. I went to shaunz bar with the girls(Jasmine and Jumoke) a day after my birthday but it didn’t really go as planned, though we had some fun. The used-to-be best friend of January- B also called me. It was a surprise kind of because I thought our friendship was done. But some friendships never die. I’m not exactly sure what ship it is even. Tbh, he made my day. Plus, he still has a way of making me blush 😂. But some things are better left unsaid. 

22nd – Jasmine’s birthday. We went to celebrate her at Slay lounge. Did karaoke too. We literally counted down to her birthday-Mad fun. I got home past midnight and I raced to my house immediately the uber guy dropped me off. I love that girl and I can’t say why. She’s one of the few colleagues I can open up to,without shame and with all honesty. 

Karaoke night 

22nd– My baby girl Christy bagged her PhDLol. You’d have thought I was the owner of the degree. I was too happy mehn. I’m just so grateful my friends are successful in their areas. Trust me, if you’re the only successful one among your friends, it’d be so difficult for you to enjoy life. Well..except you change your friends sha. There’s one more person’s PhD I’m waiting out for. 😉 

Dr Christy!

MAY

I started to house hunt. It’s a scary thing for a typical Lagosian. Just pray you find a house comfortable enough for you to live until you build your own house. Where I stay isn’t bad but the area is rough and even my dad won’t come for a visit until I moved. Lol.

I eventually found one. Did I also mention that I’ve got the best parents(even though we quarrel steadily) that come through for me all the time!  

I went to lekki Conservation center with Joan(the French guy).  You should visit too. Lovely experience. You can read about my experience here.

JUNE

Exam month. I’m tired of these exams, God knows even though my restless self won’t stop here. 

6th

I finally submitted my application for Stanford’s MBA fellowship program after procrastinating my essay and resume to forever. I had already submitted when I saw the fellowship was for people who are not financially stable. Lol. I was too sincere in my application but if I had seen that clause earlier, I wouldn’t have applied at all in the first instance. 

Did I mention that this month is the brokest I’ve ever been?  I experienced brokelyn even though I’m still in Lagos. I’m too ashamed to even ask my folks for anything. Lol. Please, let me suffer in silence this time. 

8th

Remember my home girl -Tobi?  She came through for me today. She was my bunkmate in predegree and we were like cat and dog. She came back into my life at the right time I needed her. 😘 😘. 

Sometime during the course of the month 

Someone told me I was forming and act like I’m an innocent human. Lol. By the way, that’s like the second person telling me that within the space of 6 months. Lol. I’m not an angel. I’m as human as human can be and I’ve made some stupid wrong choices I’m not proud of-well, in my life’s context and that I wouldn’t want to share with anyone. Feel free to assume the bad choices 😂.  However, I would never be caught dead doing some things. So, that settles that. 

Other days of the month 

I almost lost my faith this month. I got tired of praying and asking God for some mountains to be moved. I lost at the final stages of two projects I’ve been working on for about a year now. At some point, when I attempted to pray, I didn’t even know what to ask for. Like –God, refer to all my past supplication. I still believe I’m God’s favorite because at any point I want to let go, He just shows up. 

I also believe He makes everything beautiful at His own time. I’m grateful for life and my parents -I can never take them for granted. I have learnt that it’s okay not to achieve your dreams when you expect and not to beat yourself up about it. Just take life one step at a time. 

I hope the remaining half of this year come with all the answers to all the questions/prayers raised in the half year. One, full of laughter, joy, hope, love and forever goodness. 

Happy new month everyone. 

Xoxo. 

Posted in Life

Day-to-day dealings as a Lagos commuter 

Hello guys. 

Again. 

So, today, I’ll be softly touching the daily waka as a Lagos commuter. I grew up in Lagos the major part of my life and started the proper Lagos hustle in 2015 so, it’s safe to say I’m very much qualified for this topic. Here we go!!

Image from the Internet-who wants to claim copyright?  😂 

  • Try. Like, very much try to reduce your voice when receiving a call in a bus. I know the Yoruba (wo)man in you loves to shout but try your best not to. We are really not interested in knowing the happenings of your life. Especially as it’s 6.00am on a Monday morning. Some of us are probably still sleeping, we are merely walking physically. 
  • When you’re on social media -twitter, facebook, (especially)  Instagram, there is a high probability of your phone not being yours alone. There’s someone -beside you or behind you trying to stretch his neck to see what you’re watching. Infact, there’s someone beside me trying to read what I’m typing right now. There was a day I was going through IG in a bus, going through make up videos and this guy was just stretching his neck to see the pictures. He didn’t even hide it because he was even laughing at pictures and memes I didn’t find funny so, you can imagine how angry I was. I actually turned to give him the look of -‘Are we using the phone together ‘? He just laughed and said -‘aunty, you women too dey deceive us’ and just kept on laughing. I was too angry but I just remembered it was not my father’s bus so, I logged out of IG.
  • When you pass through a route often -everyday, you tend to have bus friends, agbero friends. There are some people (okay, just two)  who call me when I don’t show up at the bus stop by 6/6.30. Talmbout loyalty. The guy that calls for passengers at Sabo every morning (Michael) doesn’t fail to show everyone he knows me by greeting me loudly everyday. Sometimes when buses are scarce when it rains and a bus drives by, he hustles a seat for me. Yorubas say omo burúkú lójó ti è so, I tip him sometimes. There was this one time I didn’t give him anything in like 3 months and the next day he saw me, he was like –aunty, you gats find something for me soon o. This was before everyone in the bus o. He also tells me to avoid an area when robbery occurs. Days when I decide to leave for my office really late, say 9am, he goes –aunty, why are you late?  Abi you watch film over-night? I’m beginning to think he’s working for my employer sef. The only thing he’s yet to have is my phone number which he says he’ll get ‘tomorrow’ everyday. Lol. Trust me, they have their own useful days. 
  • You will definitely meet rude and uncouth men who think you’re no different from their wives or girlfriends they have sex with. If you love your life, don’t respond to their abuses. Just keep quiet. You can like to respond sha. You will only end up looking at the mirror trying to confirm if what they said are true. You really don’t want to do that. 
  • There will also be people who didn’t sleep well in their houses,trying to complete their nap in the bus so,would want to drop their heads on your shoulder. 😂 😂. I don’t know why people won’t just respect themselves by placing their heads on the back rest in front of them. I don’t even joke with that. Please and please, don’t let your head mistakenly fall on my shoulder. 
  • You might sometimes find yourself becoming a conductor in the bus. Not like anyone appointed you but for your sake, just take the goddamn job. How do you explain having a #1,000 note for a #150 bus fare? 
  • You will also have the opportunity to know who the original staff of the country are. I’m talking about the men in uniform -policemen,custom officers, soldiers, etc. These ones don’t pay bus fares because -staff. There was a time I boarded a bus from Sabo to obalende and as the conductor prompted us for our fares, he just shouted that he wasn’t ‘going’ again. He was almost in tears. He had like 7 staff in the bus! A 14-seater bus o. Lol. Oga staff.
  • And before I forget, don’t come into the bus trying to use original English language like the rest of us don’t understand it. What’s the meaning of I want to alight? Its like you want the driver to take you past your busstop abi?  What happened to ó wà or e dey?

What experiences have you had as a Lagos commuter?

Xoxo. 

Posted in Life

Of Scammers and real owners 

Whozza! 

Holla Holla.. 

I trust you’re doing well.. If so, Doxology 😂. 

Today’s title is a real life story. My friend told me to go ahead to publish it. 

 DISCLAIMER!

I was laughing when he gave me the gist but now, I’ve lost steam so, don’t blame me if you don’t find it as funny as I did.
How many of you think because you live in Lagos (or Nigeria sef), you can’t get Scammed?  Ameannnnn.. Nigeria has practically ‘torn’ people’s eyes so, how can’t you be immune to scams? 

So, my friend, call him Bobo, got a scholarship for his MSc in January(BTW, I couldn’t contain my joy for him) in the US so, off to America he went. 

You know the general thought that once your friend is outside Nigeria and receiving excessive cold into his body, he’s made for life and he automatically has tarty-million for the akant? I think that was what bobo’s friends thought. Plus, we already have a friend in the ‘abroad’ so, let us start buying from Amazon ;our friend will bring it or find a way of sending it to Naija for us. That’s the only part I like sha. 

Bobo’s friend, call him  Ade, tells Bobo that he saw an iPhone on a US online store and would like him to help buy it then send to Naija. The deal was obviously very good. $275 for an iPhone plus it’s from Amerika. 

Bobo rings up the phone seller,they negotiate and reach an agreement for Bobo to wire half of the money and after the guy sends the phone via post, the 50% balance would be transferred to the seller. Sounds fair enough By the way, it’s quite a distance between the seller and Bobo. 

Some 30-40 minutes later, Bobo gets a picture of the seller sending the picture of the phone at the post office and he thought 💭 deal was done so he did what?  He transferred the 50% balance to the seller. Good boy! 

1 hour later… No phone. Well, it could be the ‘traffic’. You know there could be ‘hold up’ in oyinbo land too.

2 hours later, Phone is yet to appear. It’s like the guy sent the phone to a wrong mail box ‘ so Bobo in the infinite wisdom given to him by God, decides to call Mr seller. Guess what? 

Just guess naw.. 
 Scammer Seller had blocked bobo’s number. He dialed it a second time..same thing. That was when he knew he had been scammed. 

Hehehe.  What a way to say welcome to America! This happened in his first month of arrival. 

Did I remember to tell you Bobo was trying to be a good friend by helping Ade buy the phone with his money for him to be later refunded? Apparently, his money which he used was not really his.. It was someone else’s money 💵. Talk about double double. 😂. 

That was a wrong emoticon. It should have been 😐 😐 

If I was the one something like that happened to , I would go to the rest room to purge.. My stomach would get upset for no reason before the tears start flowing. Because in my mind, I’ll be like

  • First of, GOD!  WHY DID YOU ABANDON ME?
  • So……., the person whose money I used to buy Ade’s phone, he’s not the real owner? Because, the real owner just came to collect his money. You get? 
  • How could I be scammed?  Me? A whole Lagos girl. Most Lagosians are naturally paranoid. Before a Lagos girl does something, she’d have thought of a thousand what-ifs before settling for the positives.
  • Then I’ll settle for the real tears. Forgerrit, it’s definitely going to fill a bucket then I’ll probably sleep off, then wake up the following morning to confirm if what happened the night before was for real. 
  • Then I would probably console myself and say something like ‘the scammer has kukuma taken all my sorrows away’. There’s always two ways of seeing things. Talmbout angu!

Then life as I know it will continue. After all, t’ésin bá dani, a máa túuň gùn ni. I don’t know how to translate it. Sorry ma/sah.

Have you ever been scammed in a strange land or new place before?  I would love to hear from you. 

You know the drill, drop a comment. 

Xoxo.