Posted in love, Random

December Randoms

Hey hey everyone,

Cobwebs cleared, so I’m back. Lol

Let me feel myself small naw.. You know woman’s not hot.

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I’m sooooo glad the year is coming to an end because.. I’m excited about it for no reason. On the other hand, I don’t want it to come to an end just because it’s been a great year so far. Some lows came but there were more highs than lows; I must confess. Except if I want to be ungrateful, which I choose not to be.

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Third year in a row where I won’t be spending new year’s eve with the family because… Work. So, my new year usually start off on a boring note. Ameannnnn.. I should be in church praising my way into the new year but whichever way, we move.

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I am so grateful for a lot of things this year and I’m a bit overwhelmed.

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Dad will be 60 in two ✌ months’ and my mum has started planning a surprise birthday for her husband already. My mom is the ‘carry my husband on my head ‘ type of lover. It’s written all over her and she can’t help it. Lol.

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November was one of my best months yet. You know why already.

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2018 is going to be a great year already. I did my plan up until December 2018 and I’m scared.. Lol. I really hope all my plans play out, and most importantly, I have the funds to finance my dreams. Oh. And that God keeps me alive to carry them out.

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I got my first Christmas gift today. I think I’ve been bitten by the Christmas bug already.

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Merry Christmas everyone. Love and light always.

Xoxo

Xoxo

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Posted in Life, Random

Living for the kids-My children are my world 

Hey people people.

Happy Sunday 😂.

How am I? I am very fine. Just been traveling up and down to London to see the queen. Talk about being a busy bee.

Straight to the point…

As Adulting kicks in (annoyingly) and we build careers and hustle, away from the whole ambition, I think it gets to a point where one wonders what the point of this whole hustling is.

There’s that void /longing ;some people call it purpose (I don’t think so sha) which begs to be answered. It could be rising bills or accumulation of wealth-which you don’t see the point of amassing ;whatsoever actually. For some folks, it means it’s time to get married and for the married folks, kids. Like, something. Just something to live for.

Many times, I’ve heard the older folks say things like –whenever I remember I have a wife and kids, I get motivated to work harder ;I’m doing all these things for my kids ; my kids are my world, etc

Funny enough, my mum is an exception to a whole lot of things -this, for instance. She doesn’t believe she has to live for her kids or put her life on hold for them. Growing up, I used to think she was mean but now that I’m older, I totally understand.

I don’t have kids (yet) but I’ve spoken to older folks who already have grandkids and have seen it all. There’s a woman in my unit in church who’s an ex CBN accountant. Lived a wealthy life by every meaning of the word, traveled many countries and sent her kids to the most expensive schools in Nigeria so, she’s definitely above the average Nigerian. Her kids are doing very well now -married with good careers. She shares the same views with my mum. She said she told her kids that the ultimatum for assistance from her for any child is when she clocks 60. Any child who by that age, hasn’t figured out life might not get the best from her. Traveling upandan to do omugo for any child by then isn’t her calling 😂. Talk about asking your mum to do come to the US for 6 months omugo and she declining. She was like she’s spent about 40 years of her life putting them first ;the remaining 20 years of her life-give or take, is for herself. These kids you want to die for are going to be independent by 18 and if you put your life on hold for the 18years, you might not be too happy watching them put themselves before you when they go off to college.
On the flip side, some other man said that is selfishness and that when you have a child, your whole life literally changes. You’re engulfed by both love and fear of taking care of another human being who you can do anything for and it will take you years(probably 18/20) for you to be selfish. In a way, I agree with what him because I don’t have kids yet but I already have plans for them e.g not giving birth to them in this godforsaken country if possible ;which will definitely mean sacrifices of some pleasures on my part.

This brings me to asking about your thoughts who literally tell their kids – you are my investment. Some folks for instance, who are still tenants and have no property to their names when asked, say their children are their properties /investments. I think that is the easiest way to guilt trip a child. First of, does it still work nowadays? Ameannnnn, my dad ;who is not a millennial, sacrificed his life, education, etc for his siblings (which he still say are investments) isn’t telling a good story. If I should put it mildly, it’s a zero ROI. Lmao. Now, paint that scenario again in a millennial generation where people don’t think much of their extended families, nuclear family first (rightly so) -is he still an investment?

But in a case where the man/parent doesn’t even have pension funds any longer because of you, aren’t you really an investment? Lol. Quite dicey.. I know.

So, guys, what do you think about it? Should one wrap his entire existed around his kids? Yes? Or not? Or maybe? At what point do you draw the line to live for yourself ?

I would really love to hear from you. You know what to do. Drop a comment below.

Xoxo

Posted in Life, Random

Randoms

Holla Holla. 

I’m not loyal, I know. I haven’t been loyal to myself this past couple of weeks sef. Some random musings as an apology? 

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I think the funniest thing I’ve done this past week was forgetting my slip on at my client’s. I don’t have a car. But I still want to do maximum shakara. So I have a permanent pair of heels in a locker at my client’s at any point in time. I go to work in slip on or sandals. Problem however is..the pair of shoes at the office is black-universal color ;you know? I change footwears upon my arrival at the office. 

To make my issue more complicated, there are days when I don’t deem the black heels proper for my outfit that day. Puhleeze, I want to look chic. So, I go with an extra pair of shoes in my bag (red, brown or Grey as the case may be).

There are days when these chic look puts me into trouble. Like today. I closed so early from work to get to the hospital (malaria baby) and I forgot my slip on at the office!  Izzequal to heels until I get home. In a PT ffs! I wanted to request for uber but there was a 4* surge so, I damned the consequence-of my legs paining me and people watching me as I hustle for a keke. I was extra nice to my fellow keke mates sha 😂 😂. One of my friends said it’s an irony to wear a human hair in a PT. Lolll. Girl, bye.

If you see a girl in a Navy blue dress with a brooch at the cleavage area and a pair of tomato red shoes, Holla. It just might be me.

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I’m beginning to have a mental shift out of this country. Like my body is here but my spirit has long left Nigeria. No, it’s not in Togo. Not Benin Republic. Not even South Africa abeg 👀. 

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My mind is in the country where milk and honey flows. I don’t believe milk and honey flows in any African country, truth be told. What do you think, having oyinbo air brush my skin?  Lol. Automatic black American /Canadian /yadayada. Everything is oyinbo. I sha want to gerrarahia.  With current happenings in this country, I’ve lost all hope completely. I want to have hope from the other continents -Asia is canceled, please. 

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I will be writing my final ACCA exam in the next three weeks but reading for it is currently my biggest challenge. It’s like really hoping for something to happen but getting scared when it comes nearer. Pray for me guys. 

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I finally moved into my new apartment. Like for real. Squatted with Ebun for weeks but it’s all history now. 

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Nothing else to say

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Nothing else to say

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Xoxo

Posted in Life, Random

Being friends with the ex

Hello everyone.

Whozzop!?

Me, I’m preparing for my exam. Final exam, God-willing. You would think I would be so serious with my reading but guess what the title of today’s talk-talk is? Lol. You already know it.

Straight up, I’ll be touching areas that has to do with the ex. Very short and spot on it will be, I promise.

I will definitely share my views after these.

I am one who is all about being friends with an ex after you see that God’s plan (abi your plan) for you as a couple is over. Afterall, this life is not hard at all.

Which brings me to ask, are you a true friend in every sense of the word -friendship to him at that point? Or your random jokes when you guys holla while chatting or speaking on phone is just to allow for thoughts of your past good memories and hopes of you getting back with each other? How happy are you for him when he moves ahead in life and you’re still stuck in the same position? More like ;not moving as fast as you thought you would.

Plot twist, how would you feel when an ex(one you really liked btw) calls you out of the blues to say he was getting married?? 😂 😂. Your happiness for him knows no bounds abi?

So, what do you think? Being friends with the ex, good or bad idea? You know what to do.
Personally, I don’t think it’s a good idea. Well, it depends on how much you loved him. For what it’s worth, I don’t believe you can stop loving someone you’ve once loved, if that was true.

I will tell you what I would do if an ex calls to tell me he was getting married -I will congratulate him then go ahead to block him on all social media platforms. Lol. Harsh? I know. But I don’t think you get to process something like that quick enough. Friends ke? Easier said than done.

That’s just me though. What do you think?

Do you and drop a comment.

Xoxo.

Posted in Random

Village people hot on the chase 

Holla Holla. 

And like my mum calls whatsapp,’whozzop’ people? 😂 😂. I’m a naughty child.. I know. God forbid!  My kids won’t be naughty. Back to the sender. Please, stop cussing me. Thank you! 

I want to say something about a slightly sensitive issue today. Before I go on, let me give you the gist. 

My mum sews bag souvenirs. Anything bags. For corporate events, parties, schools, etc like food packs, laptop bags, school bags, traveling bags,bags and bags and bags. This is an advert by the way. So you guys planning your weddings or burial ceremonies of the older generations, come and patronize us.

I digress. 

She employs tailors who makes these bags for her. They work Mondays to Saturdays, 9am-6pm. There was this woman she employed recently (about a year ago) who is one of her best employees -mummy Victor. She had some challenges with her business for a while and wasn’t able to get something doing for a really long time until she got a spot at my mum’s. 

Last weekend when I went home, my mum had this gist for me that mummy Victor wants to negotiate her time and salary with her. 

Time –  To resume the shop at 12noon and close by 5pm.

Salary – To be cut down by the number of hours per day she doesn’t come to work.

I was quite shocked because truth be told, she’s quite good at what she does and doesn’t misbehave like others so, it was just normal for one to know what she wants to sacrifice her time(money) for. 

She eventually opened up to us. She’s going through some family challenges and when she talked to ‘pastor’ about it, he told her God wasn’t happy with her. What did she do?  Wait for it….. 

Apparently, before she got her job, the church was her home. Morning to night. Talk about using the house of the Lord as the home of your spirit (literal translation of ‘fi ilé olórun see ibùgbé èmí re’)  but she’s not been in church as frequently as before because of her new job which by the way, isn’t new any longer. He reminded her that before she got this job, she was always coming to church but that one thing she asked from God is now taking her away from him. All the while she was saying these, my mind was like ‘so, what did pasta sorry, Pastor say?’

Solution to her problem is that if out of the 5 working days in a week, she can give 4 days to God, things will go back to normal. By give -he means attending morning and evening church meetings. Morning meetings are from 7-12am and evening meetings 6-9pm. Everyday. 

Lol.

Lol.

Lawlll.

I was confused but I’m sure my mum; being the employer was more confused. It’s like over-stretching the whole thing. Well, that’s how I see it. 

At this point, words are not flowing any more. 

So, people, what do you think?  Sincerely?

You know the drill. Drop your comments below.

Xoxo.

Posted in Random

Children’s day and my insecurities 

Although, I guess if I knew tomorrow, I guess I wouldn’t need faith 

I guess if I never fell, I guess I wouldn’t need grace 

I guess if I knew His plans I guess He wouldn’t be God – Jon Bellion 

At the moment, I’m in a bus heading for yaba from my parents’. And I just read a post from NSG on Instagram. You don’t know NSG??? You mean you don’t??  Oya,goan follow her sharp sharp.

Well, you can say her post inspired this post . 

The best thing I love doing with my mum whenever I’m home (other than playing pranks on her intentionally)  is watching children videos with her. When I say children videos, I mean kids dancing, singing on America’s got talent, mila, and the McClure twin girls. I love the way she says awww or ‘won n mu inu mi dun’ or ‘bo see ma n shey ni kekere niyen’. I love how her face lights up at the sight of them. I want to believe I just love seeing myself as a child with her. Her trophy child actually. She’s my safe place. I feel so much like a little girl when she’s around me. Sorry, my dad makes me realize I’m already an adult when he enters the picture and I just wanna remain a child. 

I digress. 

Today’s 27th of May.  Children’s day. And all I see(on TV) are kids on the track marching, playing games on the pitch and actually doing all sorts of kids stuff. 

Crazy money spent on these children’s day events yearly and rightly so. Even my church-Rhema chapel, celebrate these kids every year. We kinda leave the whole Sunday to them to take over -Sermon, choir ministration, choreography, drama, etc. Last year, I literally had tears welling up my eyes 👀 seeing some kids read as many as the whole of Psalm 119 which by the way, is the psalm with the longest number of verses, playing the saxophone, violin and so many mind-blowing instruments. 

The tears were partly because I was blown out of my mind and was so proud of them even though I wasn’t their parents. Also partly because my hormones(what’s the one for tears called?) rage at the slightest reason so, tears. But majorly, because that used to be me.

I remember watching a video with a colleague couple of months ago and after awwing and ahhing,  I told him that used to be me. You’re laughing right? That was the same thing he did!  You can’t believe it right?  Me neither.  So we can all laugh together. 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂. 

That’s actually not funny 😐 😐 :|.  At all.

In reality, it actually is. I was that child that everyone held in high esteem, from primary school right until I graduated from uni . The trophy child actually (I’m fanning myself right now).  Lol.  I could play the guitar, I was as fast as a hare when running, my brain was so photographic (I have to read stuff many times in order to remember these days) and even I was like the reference point to others. Lawlll. I actually believe it’s the same for so many 90s kids.

But a couple of years down the line, what do we have? I don’t even know how to play anything any longer(other than the notes). 

I wasn’t joking in my last post when I said I never thought I would still be here. Don’t get me wrong o, I’m not doing badly. At all. Well, atleast. I only expected to bhpe very much farther down my journey based on all I put up here. And like many others, when I hit 25, it was like a big slap on my face. It kind of jolted me to reality of what my expected and actual was and I could see a huge variance. And I’m not lying when I say it was at that point that it was as if I didn’t even know what I was doing again. Like -babe, what exactly is the plan? Not like I even know what tomorrow says sef. One step at a time, baby. 

So, it brings me to asking if we aren’t lying to these kids. Hailing them and saying they’re the leaders of tomorrow, going to go farther than the skies, bla bla bla.. Yadayada yadayada.. 

Which brings me to my insecurities with kids (I’m all transparent right now). I think my biggest insecurities about having kids will be being scared of the uncertainties. Like what if they don’t make it the way we raise them? What if everything is just a joke?  What If I’m just cheering them on because the only the only reason is because I can only hope for them to be everything. Just hope. 

I worry too much, I know but that is indeed what life exactly is about. Plenty uncertainties. The best I can do is to pray for my future children everyday. I’ve put them in God’s hands even when I can’t wrap my head around things. 

Happy Children’s day everyone. 

😘 😘