Out here to clean the cobwebs.
I’ll be back when everywhere is clean.
Out here to clean the cobwebs.
I’ll be back when everywhere is clean.
Holla Holla. Whozzop people. 😂 😂.
Eggzam is in two days but right now, my head doesn’t want to hear of it.
Anyway is sha a way. We’ll pass whatever way.
Today officially makes it 14 years my mum survived cancer. It’s still a very sad story in my house though my mum says her children must throw her a party for it when she’s 60. Lol. So much for a sad story.
I was in JSS3 that year at FGGC OYO and I was still very much in my shell. Not this Dammy you all know now so nobody in school knew what was going on with me. I wasn’t told she was sick or anything ; I only noticed she stopped coming for my visiting days. Instead, my aunty does.
First thing that aroused my suspicion was the 2 sets of provision I was given. Milo -2, milk -2, goldenmorn -2,etc. Then I went home for mid-term break and I was told she traveled. To where!!?? I’m pretty close to my mum and at that point, I knew something was wrong. I just couldn’t place my finger on what it was.
My mum couldn’t bear the thought of not seeing her children again if whatever happened so, she asked to see us. She was looking so pale and weak and I couldn’t help but cry. You would think there was a tank of tears placed inside my eye prior to that moment.
I had my Jssce WAEC coming up after then and my mum made me promise her that I’d put in my best efforts.
It was very much later that I was told the full story of what happened at the hospital. How she went into a coma as she tried to get up on her feet two days after her surgery, when one of the doctors shouted at her to go clean herself up at the bathroom. How she saw dead people being taken out of the ward on a daily basis and the thought of her being next. How my dad fought the doctor when he heard the cause of her comatose and accused him of wanting to kill his wife(I love that part of the story 😂 ).
Some months after the surgery, she had some new diagnosis of her pancreas being burnt by excessive rays during her radiotherapy. So,another journey to(with) diabetes.
I had totally forgotten about the whole phase of her life until this morning when she called to remind me of it. She made it so easy not to even know she went through all that because after the whole process, she continued her life as it was -work, shop, trading, taking care of her kids and all. The daily drug intakes, constant mammogram and medical check ups are what you get to remember of the cancer.
On a general note, being diagnosed of cancer in Nigeria isn’t beans if you’re not rich (to be flown abroad for special health treatment), you don’t have a good support system in terms of family and you don’t have a constant source of income. Like, that’s the end.
I’m so grateful that we were blessed with excessive love and support from family -My uncles, aunties, dad and mum’s friends. Most of these people are part of the reasons why I still have a mum, after God actually. It actually took a village (of family and friends) to raise my younger brother and I. True friendships are always worth it.
I’m grateful for my dad too -(he loves to act like James Bond) who made the sacrifice of moving from kaduna to stay with the family in Lagos because of her health (talk about compromise).
I’m forever grateful to God for making her alive up until this day, raising her babies and showing His glory. I’m also grateful that He will let her live 50 more years.
Cheers to long life and a cancer free generation.
Where flowers bloom, so does hope.
So, I’m on leave -exam leave and it’s gotten to a point where this reading is beginning to seem like a punishment. Ameannnnn… This isn’t life, truth be told. September,please come already (those who know, know 😂).
What better way to make myself feel better than writing these random facts about myself? So, here I go.
Do you think there’s something else about me that I might have missed(good or bad) ? Please drop your comments below.😂 😂. I know. It’s like a feedback.
Long time, no see… So, no one could ask after me abi? I’m keeping it in the ‘cooler’ for the rest of you. Except for you sha. And you. Oh! You too. Makes it all of you. 😂
Straight to the point.
Something was brought to my attention today sha. And I thought to share.
First of, let me ask you this general question.. How well are you truthful /sincere with your friends? Or let me ask the question via a relatable scenario.
You have friends with these kinds of bio on their social media – Pro-make up artist(available to travel) but you know that even you can’t give sit in her chair for a face-lift(face beat. More like a face slap). How easy was it to tell them that what they’re doing is not ‘sell-able’ o. Or the cake they make should be done for family and friends ooo, until it becomes perfect?
This is coming at a point in this social media age, where people go for just a 12 hour make up crash course and automatically become a pro-mua. Or you learn how to fix laptop and you can easily call yourself an engineer. The annoying ones are the ones that call themselves Programmer… Lol.. Story for another day.
The ‘baddest’ I heard was the case of someone who asked a cake maker to bake a cake for his girlfriend. Cost him #18,000. He saw her page on Instagram and made the decision to request for her services.
Only for the cake to be delivered and started breaking like yesterday’s Agege bread. Don’t get me wrong, the cake was beautiful. With very lovely designs so, there was no way for him to know that she was not as good at what she says she is. Long story short, they both traded words with each other abbl.
The cake you wanted versus what you actually got
So, back to my question.. How well are you truthful to your friends? And how has it strained your friendship? I for one, don’t normally take rebukes well but deep down, I know my friend is right. I could withdraw for a minute then the next minute, I’ll find a way to be in her good books. Afterall, if I heard it from someone who I don’t consider friend, I would be more hurt than I was at the moment. So, where do you stand? I would love to hear from you.
Better late than never. 😂
Welcome to your favorite story telling channel -tales by phone-light 😂 😂.
Today is about hip-hop and others. What were you thinking? Hip-hop as in genre of music? Hehehehe. So, you don’t know that hip-hop now has a lot of meanings? Could mean music just like cucumber is a fruit. 😂 😂.
You’re lost, I know. I know the look on someone’s face when he’s lost.
Apparently, I’m becoming an old-school. I graduated from Uni 5 years ago and I can’t believe I don’t know what’s going on in my immediate environs any longer.
I went to meet Alvin to make my hair immediately after work today. He had almost finished installing my hair when this girl (about 18 years old) came in with guy who’s obviously a yaba boy. Why are you asking me how I know he’s a yaba boy? When you know, you know. 😂
Both had their hands locked in the other’s. Then she asked Alvin for the ‘stuff’. Alvin gives her and the yaba boy pays him some money I didn’t know the amount. It was after they had left that Alvin started advertising his wares to me. He told me what the girl came to buy was hip-hop (atleast that was I thought he said). It was when he stated the function of hip-hop that my ‘inner eyes ‘ opened. Let me quickly run you through his services.
1. Hip-hop – A drug that can help you grow hips. Goes for 3k. You use it for a week then you see the effects. Almost immediately. Alvin says it’ll look like Nicki Minaj’s own. How true that is, I can’t say. Obviously, it’s not hip-hop. It’s hip-up.
The hip-hop I know
The hip-hop Alvin is talmbout 😂
2. Breast pumping (enlargement) – He showed me one machine that can- in his words – ‘make your breast touch Okada man’s back ‘ when you’re riding a bike 🚲. It looked like a machine that pumps air into football. I’m not sure what it pumps into people’s breasts though. Goes for #35k.
3. Chewing gum – At this point, I’m going to sigh deeply. O su mi mehn.
This is the chewing gum I’m used to. Okay, I’m not saying the entire truth. Orbit is N250 so I can’t be used to it because my friends and colleagues won’t buy theirs but will beg from me until it finishes. I’m used to Banana chewing gum (the one that has questions on the wrapper) and sprint. 😂. If you don’t know those two, just give me your lunch money for a week.
I don’t have a picture of the chewing gum Alvin is talking about but apparently, Alvin’s chewing gum is an aphrodisiac. When you (as a girl) chew it and have sex with your significant other, he’ll “never leave your side forever and ever”. This one is for #1k.
First of, do people have any idea of what they’re ingesting for these purposes? You pop in pills as cheap as 3k and you expect zero side effects in future? For what exactly?
Secondly and most importantly, love yourself! Love yourself. It can’t be overemphasized. Who are you doing this radarada hip up for that your life doesn’t matter to you? Ehn?
Anyone that makes you dim your light or change (your body) for him/her will never be satisfied because you keep changing until you no longer recognize yourself.
If you care to know, it’s not just my hair stylist who sells these o. A lot of guys under Ikeja bridge do the same. From giving you pink lips to penis enlargement (yes o, they do that too.Wonder working powers of Ikeja under bridge).
Please, if you don’t love your body, atleast, love yourself and remember that ‘your body is the temple of the Living God ‘. You don’t own it.
Have you ever had this experience? Please, share. I’d love to hear from you.
Hips up 😂 😂
P.s- Alvin is one of the best hair stylists in yaba. Tested. Proven fact. He didn’t pay for the advert oo.
All my life, I never thought I would leave my parent’s house before I got married to live on my own. It was like an abomination. No one had ever done that in my family in the past. But hey. I’m the pace setter. The rule breaker.
Luckily for me, I got a job in Lagos, many kilometers away from where my parents built the family house. Still, I stayed with a family friend – Oghale for four wonderful months until she got married. Unfortunately for my parents (I don’t think it’s a fortunate situation for me anyway), I don’t have aunties or uncles in Lagos. Left to my parents,they would have made me stay at one of these extended family members’ if possible sef. Oh well.
I always thought that once you had your money, it would be easy for you to get the house of your choice easily. So, you can imagine my shock when after telling my agent I had N300k as my budget, he took me to this poverty-stricken looking, shrine look-alike house as the equivalent of my rent’s worth. This was at yaba o( I couldn’t even dream of living on the island with that salary ). Safe to even say some of these houses have no water -you have to buy a drum where you literally buy water for keeps. Show me those primary school teachers who told us water was a free/ natural resource. Amean….it’s annoying. Some other houses are called ‘flats’ but are actually built in face-me-i-face-you pattern. You literally can see everything your neighbor is doing. The annoying one is your window leading into someone else’s compound.
Like you’re actually in the same house but not really in the same house. You’re confused? So am I!
Come two years after your stay in the house, wait for it… Your landlord increases your rent by 80-100% with zero improvement or renovation in the house o.
There was even the story of a landlord I heard, he wanted to turn the two shops outside the tenants’ house to a flat so, he removed the roof off the tenants’ house, leaving just the asbestos. 😂 😂. How crazy could that be?
I think there should be laws against house owners doing whatever they liked which is not in favor of their tenants. Most Landlords know Accommodation in Lagos is a big deal and feel they can get away with anything.
I think it’s an individual issue. So many people’s lack empathy and act like they won’t have children of their own. Plus, tables turn anyway so.. Just that some of these people might not be alive to see the tables turn to their directions.
Do you have a Lagos landlord story you’d like to share? You know what to do. I would love to hear from you.
P.S- One of the Landlord cases is my experience 😂
I don’t like uniformed officials in Nigeria. Except for the Naval men and Pilots. Every other set, I dislike. Policemen. Army official. Customs official.LASTMA
LASTMA guys are actually the cause of this post. A simple question though. Why do they pray for the downfall of their fellow Nigerians? Other than that, what else?
I boarded a bus from sabo to obalende with the driver shouting to everyone’s hearing that there was no busstop along the road. Moreso, a new penalty of N100k will be paid by defaulters. Meanwhile,there was this aboki guy who turned deaf ears to everything the driver said and forced his way through the window at a busstop full of policemen, soldiers and lastma officials. Long story short, he was arrested. Guess what again? The driver was arrested alongside the aboki for letting his window be easily accessible for the aboki to jump out. I couldn’t even believe my ears.
Why would you fault someone who had no control over what the mallam did? Why? Because of N100k you did not work for but are hungry to collect. Why again? Because your ‘boss’ set a target for you to meet which you can only achieve by robbing innocent Nigerians.
It’s a different case if the driver was at fault. In this case, he wasn’t and the officials turned deaf ears to we the passengers telling it as it happened.
What do you think about LASTMA officials? Have you ever had a horrible experience with them? Do share. I would love to hear from you.